


steve fights injustice once again, this time in the human form of satan

by cettevieestbien



Category: American Government RPF, American RPF, Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Captain America (TM), Dehumanization, Discussion of Abortion, Donald Trump is an awful human being, Gen, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Political stuff, Racism, Racist Language, Satire, Slightly - Freeform, Slurs, facism, radical Steve
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-20
Updated: 2016-03-06
Packaged: 2018-05-15 04:33:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,215
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5771473
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cettevieestbien/pseuds/cettevieestbien
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steven Grant Rogers versus Donald Asshole Trump</p><p>OR,</p><p>These people clearly love Trump, and they thought Steve would, too.</p><p>But he’s just getting started. It’s going to be a long night.</p><p>(Chapter 2: Donald Trump is Not Small and Steve is Not Happy)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. i hate him

**Author's Note:**

> I'm considering changing the title, because wow is it dumb.
> 
> To be clear: I do not know Donald Trump's views on abortion, and I didn't feel like looking it up and getting angry about it. I don't think he would say some of this stuff but I wouldn't put it past him - namely, the stuff about abortion/women's rights.
> 
> Also, there's a part about Republicans, and it's not exactly flattering. That's not my viewpoint - the only Republicans I truly do not like are Trump's supporters.
> 
> The slurs are "deafy", "cunt" and "murderer".

Steve has no desire to be there. On top of the writhing, Republican masses, beefy security guards, and of course, Donald Trump, there’s an air of something that sits on his tongue wrong. It makes him feel like these people expect a good show of Captain America bending over and kissing Trump’s feet like the good, conservative doll they’ve made him into.

 

Steve is here because Tony was banned from FOX, and none of the others couldn’t think up a good excuse. And because, of course, Trump requested him personally.

 

So here he is, standing in front of a podium, listening to the crowd shout things like “go Trump!” and “I love you, Captain America!”. And well, here he is, reading through his cards, neatly put together by Maria, Pepper and JARVIS. He doesn’t plan to do anything rash, not after Tony threatened to run for president himself, but….

 

Let’s be real, here. Donald Trump is the polar opposite of Steve Rogers in every way except that they’re both white men who lived before 1950. Steve thinks that between the two, it’s almost like Trump insists on living in that time period more than Steve - often called “grandpa” - does.

 

He’s thinking about how he could bring that up - a running bet between Clint and Tony is that Steve can’t make Sam laugh from an interview - when the interview starts.

 

He really doesn’t know what’s happening - as far as he’s been told, Trump will be asked questions, and Steve has to answer him dutifully and comply to everything he says. He doesn’t understand why he’s even there, to be honest.

 

The first question is a bland, easy, not-at-all provoking, “are you pro-life, or pro-choice?”

 

Steve mentally sighs so deeply his lungs explode. He kind of wishes that would happen - it would be better to be in the hospital than here.

 

“Well,” Trump says, flailing his hands a little bit, to make a point, “pro-choicers are murderers, you know, they kill people and well, I’m clearly not a murderer, so I think the answer is obvious.”

 

The interviewer looks a little puzzled. “Could you clarify?”

 

Trump rolls his eyes and purses his lips. “Pro-life, moron. Are you deaf, or something? Huh, deafy?” Then he laughs, and points. What a goddamned idiot.

 

Steve stiffens and glares at Trump, while the interviewer briefly looks chastised and on the verge of tears. They calm themselves in an impressive 2 seconds - not long enough for Trump to stop chortling and take notice but long enough it’ll be obvious when the Avengers sue Trump for harassment - and continues.

 

Steve’s question, like he expects, is simply, “and a follow up answer, Captain?”

 

He sets his cards down and feels the sense of dread he gets when he lets Pepper down, but it doesn’t stop him. The cards with cute, polite phrases like “Mr. Trump, I disagree with everything you just said” and, in the margins, “Steve - _do not punch him out._ ” aren’t going to work against this asshole, and Steve knows it.

 

“I’m very firmly a pro-choice. And you know,” he says, glancing at Trump who’s looking ready to open his idiot hole, “I _am_ a murderer.”

 

“Ah-hah!” Trump shouts, swinging a fist in the air. The crowd is screaming - one woman is staring so intensly at Steve, it feels like her eyes should have lasers coming out of them.

 

“... of the Nazi’s,” Steve continues, smiling gently - his “sarcastic little shit” smile, as his teammates like to say - at the younger man who immediately looks angry. “But, and let me make this clear, I am not the murderer of an unborn fetus, which isn’t being murdered, it’s being aborted. And I don’t understand why I’m being asked in the first place, since I do not have the genitalia needed to birth or abort a fetus, nor do I plan on it. My opinion shouldn’t count for much on something like this.”

 

“It’s a ba-by,” Trump says, very obviously downtrodden and trying to save some face. He pronounces baby like Steve is still half-deaf and also doesn’t know what a baby is. “And what does it matter that you don’t have a cunt? If it’s your baby, then you get to decide what to do with it.”

 

Steve chews on the inside of his cheek, shutting his eyes briefly in anger. When he looks up, he grits out, “first, the word you substituted for vagina is not appropriate for television, second, that sounds extremely rapey, and third, if I’m not carrying the baby, I have no right to it. We don’t live in a world where the human body is property, you know. The last time that happened, it was the 1870’s and there were slaves running around with their master’s marks on them.”

 

Trump is unamused. “This isn’t about the blacks, Captain Rogers, this is about women being whiny bitches and killing our children. And rapey? I’m not the rapist here.”

 

Before Steve can get a word in, the interviewer cuts in hastily, “next question!” They breathe deeply, and ask, “I’m aware you’ve made comments on how to deal with the refugees coming into America, but would you mind expanding?”

 

Trump’s eyes light up. Steve can practically hear and see his evil moniter shooting sky high. “Well, as I’ve said before, they should be put on a register and marked with a sign showing that they are muslim.”

 

The interviewer cocks their head slightly, and interjects, “not all of the refugees are muslims, sir.”

 

Trump doesn’t seem to notice they spoke. “In order to be fair, the other muslims, the ones who live in America, would have to be put on there, too. Mexicans, too. And I’ve been thinking - they shouldn’t be allowed to vote, even if they were born here. They’re poisoning our America, and - “

 

Steve scoffs louder than he ever has. Trump turns to glare, but Steve’s facing the crowd. “That sounds a little too much like Adolph Hitler, to me. What year is it, again? 1939? You talkin’ about registering Jewish people and marking them, because they’re ruining your Germany?”

 

There’s a titter, here and there, quiet and forced. The crowd has quieted down whenever Steve spoke - those closest are visibly glaring. They look kind of... betrayed.

 

These people clearly love Trump, and they thought Steve would, too.

 

But he’s just getting started. It’s going to be a long night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "And another thing!"
> 
> Tony, at the Tower, "oh my god, this is amazing. This is fucking perfect."


	2. did he just

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He is actually so repulsive that he did this -> http://www.vox.com/2016/3/3/11158910/trump-penis-republican-debate-fox

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I prob won't be adding more, but who knows? It's marked as complete for now, but I could add on to it if he continues down on this worn path of nonsense. (This chapter borders on crack, btw.)

“Did he just - “

 

“YES HE DID.” Steve roared. “YES. HE. DID.”

 

“Oh fu - “

 

“I’M GONNA RIP HIM A NEW ONE SO HARD THAT HIS MOUTH WILL ACTUALLY BE QUALIFIED TO SPEW ALL THE SHIT HE SAYS.”

 

“I’ll set up a conference.”

 

“HOW DARE HE? FIRST HE CAN’T ACTUALLY MAKE ANY ARGUMENTS BEYOND INSULTING HIS CAMPAIGN MATES AND NOW THIS.”

 

“Pepper will give you some cards. Darcy can help you with the tweets you want to post.”

 

“I’M JUST SO… REPULSED. NOT ONE PERSON WANTS TO HEAR ABOUT HIS DICK. NOT. ONE. PERSON. GOD! HE ACTS LIKE A TINY LITTLE BABY!”

 

“We all know, Steve.”

 

“I NEVER THOUGHT I COULD ACTUALLY HATE SOMEONE SO MUCH. HE’S DISGUSTING!”

 

“Yeah, we get i - “

 

“CAN HE ACTUALLY SAY SOMETHING RELEVANT AND THOUGHT OUT FOR ONCE? I DON’T THINK HE CAN. UGH!”

 

The rest of the team gave each other long suffering, but agreeing, looks. 


End file.
